Happy National Joke Day! Here are some of The Lakelander’s staff favorite jokes and some from Lakeland Mayor, Bill Mutz.
What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad. What do you call a man who never toots in public? A private tutor Your mamma so dumb, she’s only got one toe and talking about, “Where are my flip-flops?” – Jason Jacobs
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type!”
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.
How do you know when to go to the dentist? Tooth-Hurtie
How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. -Annalee Mutz
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta
What type of attack can kill most typographers? Arial attack
–Sally I. Barcelo
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
What is the difference between an elephant and a dozen eggs?
“I don’t know…” “Well then I won’t send you to the grocery store to buy a dozen eggs.”
I just left my job. I couldn’t work for that man after what he said to me. “What did he say?” “You’re fired.”
I bought my friend an elephant for their room. He told me, “Thank you.” I told him, “Don’t mention it.”