How to keep your perspective when planning the biggest day of your life.
Bridezilla: a blending of the words bride and Godzilla. Bride: a woman who is about to get married. Godzilla: a fictitious monster who created destruction and suffering in its wake. How did two drastically different words morph into one (and one so frequently referenced, at that)?
The first appearance of this word was in a 1995 Boston Globe article written by Diane White titled “Tacky Trips Down the Aisle,” where White describes bridezillas as women who “lose sight of the solemnity of the wedding.” Since this first appearance, bridezilla has become a household name — even inspiring reality shows centered around the premise of highlighting brides’ temper tantrums.
Yes, there’s value to putting energy into your big day and striving to achieve reasonable goals. It’s one of the most important days of your life, committing to one of the most significant covenants. Who wouldn’t want that to go over smoothly? But oftentimes, when a bride reaches bridezilla territory, this sense of “achieving” can easily be to the detriment of those whom the bride loves most.
Some common symptoms that might indicate you’re making the turn toward bridezilla may include (but are not limited to):
.01 Being demanding and difficult to please
.02 No regard for others and their feelings
.03 Emotional breakdowns over [insert random wedding detail that truly does not justify an emotional breakdown]
But it’s not too late. There’s always time to redeem your big day and live without the mass destruction that inevitably ensues from pursuing the bridezilla road. Here are a few tips to help you avoid turning into the dreaded b-word.
1. Ask for help
Planning a wedding is already one of the most stressful experiences known to womanhood. Why do it alone? Your friends and family want to help; let them. Ask for support, and delegate. If you don’t have one already, consider hiring a wedding planner. You have enough on your plate; it’s not worth losing it over centerpieces or the seating chart. Leave it to the professionals to handle the planning duties.
2. Plan a manageable budget.
Although you’re planning for your big day, you’re also planning for the rest of your lives together. Some things aren’t worth going into debt over. Unless you have unlimited resources, you’re mostly bound to a budget of some sort for your wedding. Make a list of what’s most important to you and your fiancé, and plan your budget according to that. Where you spend your money often represents what you value most. So if you care more about having quality photos, know that it may mean scaling back on the elaborate floral arrangements.
3. Accept that things will go wrong.
Repeat after me: “Something will go wrong … and that’s OK.” Setting yourself up to believe that everything will happen exactly as you planned is only setting yourself up for a bridezilla-style breakdown. Be flexible and willing to adapt whenever the minor setbacks arise. Honestly, most likely than not, you are the only one that will notice the small hiccups.
4. Take a break.
Intentionally set time apart to do something that’s not wedding related. It’s easy for wedding planning to turn into a second job. Take time to practice self-care: exercise, get a massage, nap, etc. A great idea might even be to spend quality time with your soon-to-be husband.
5. Be grateful.
Although a bride does carry a huge load, weddings are also a great deal of sacrifice for those involved. Friends and family often give up their time and resources to be there for your big day. Don’t take that for granted. Remember to express to all those involved how grateful you are for their love and support.
6. Be present and decide to have fun.
On the day of your wedding, it really isn’t necessary for you to be connected to your phone. So just give it up. Give your phone over to a trusted friend or your wedding planner, and choose to be present and have fun. This is one of the most important days of your life. Decide to be in the moment and have fun so that you can always look back on this day with fondness.